Like a number of other unfortunate species, the human male is in a fierce competition. He is competing for a most valuable resource and his struggle can be seen everywhere; on the streets, in workplaces, in coffee shops and academic institutions. Did you guess what it is? That’s right, women. Across every culture of humanity, the woman is the choosy one and the male is the one struggling for reproductive “access”.
Imagine a scenario where an attractive woman goes around asking guys if they will have sex with her? How many men would agree to such a proposition? Now imagine the reverse; a guy asking women if they would have sex with him. Who is likely to be more successful?
Not that it should come as any surprise, but whereas the great majority of men were willing to engage in intercourse upon request, not a single woman agreed to a sexual liaison. While a detailed account of the sociobiological and evolutionary arguments to support these findings are beyond the scope of this post, let us shed some light on the matter.
Because an attractive woman will always have a vast supply of candidates willing to physically enjoy her charms, she needs a quick, efficient way to determine which of the males are worthy suitors, separating the wheat from the chaff if you will. It is important to understand the striking differences in parental investment and mating opportunities between the sexes in the animal world. To produce offspring, a male needs to invest only a small amount of energy, and can in theory father as many offspring as his sexual appetite desires. A female, on the other hand, is limited in the number of offspring she can bear and raise. Consequently it is in her interest to ensure that the male she does reproduce with will increase the chances of her offspring’s survival.
That is where the role of honest signals comes into play. Essentially these are reliable signaling mechanisms that communicate to a female without a doubt that the male in question is or isn’t worth her while. They are characteristics that are easy to spot but hard to fake – think of the giant antlers on a deer. They tell the female almost instantly that the male is fit and healthy. Similarly, the loud cries of an orangutan, the extravagant plumage of a peacock or the creative mating dance of the Manikin bird are all telltale signs of genetic fitness and reproductive prowess resultant from natural selection.
“These are not implants baby”
Humans are no different in that respect. However, while the obvious physical traits, like a great set of pectorals, or a chiseled jaw are a nice bonus, it is the behavioral or “inner game” traits that are much, much more important in communicating to a woman if the guy is worth a second look. They are as follows:
– Deep and resonant vocal tonality
– Controlled and varied vocal pace
– Dominant posture
– Relaxed and composed body language (slower gestures and movements)
– Strong eye contact
– Core confidence
– Leadership
– Indifference
– Passion (great interest in something)
– Status
– Wit/Humour
– A mentality of abundance (never worrying that you’ll lose a particular woman)
Women will pick up on these honest signals almost instantly (predominantly on a subconscious level) and because most men do not exhibit a lot of these traits, those who do will inevitably stand out. The great news is that as a male one has the ability to make himself more attractive to the opposite sex. This doesn’t mean he has to grow antlers or get buttock implants. What he can do, however, is start making a conscious effort to develop the qualities that women really RESPOND to, and get to a point where he can comfortably signal to them that he is fit to mate.
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